It has truly been a marvelous year here at Satire on the Rocks. Aside from the occasional, brief-as-possible hiatus, we have been up and running in our present format since January 20^th of the almost-finished 2009. We have posted 188 articles of new content this year. When we first started there were three writers slaving weekly; by year’s end, two moved on but another joined the fold, bringing our current tally of contributors to the robust number of two. Anyone who has ever read the website is more than welcome to contribute, but in 2009, rough year that it was, such outside input never quite materialized the way the minds behind Satire figured it might.

So it goes.  Or, more precisely, so it went.

But there’s no dwelling in our hearts today. The purpose of this piece that you are reading is to highlight what we think are our best pieces of the year. We will be hitting another hiatus here at the end of the week, and so if you happen to wander over here between now and the end of the year, we want to give you plenty of material to pass the time reading until you feel like doing whatever it is you put off doing to instead waste time online dicking around and reading random shit.

In that spirit, we’re giving you our forty-eight best pieces. A little over a quarter of the 188 stories we wrote for you this year, organized and arranged, should you feel like going back over the year that was for Satire on the Rocks, your one-stop shop for time-wasting analysis with as much humor and/or ire as we could muster at the time.

(Editor’s note: The weekly NFL columns, What We Talk About When We Talk About the NFL, will continue to appear once a week, on Wednesdays. At what time on Wednesday remains to be determined, I’d say earlier if possible, so if you check in Thursday, you should definitely be fine.)

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(Second Editor’s note: amidst the text that follows, keep your eyes peeled for asterisks.  If you want to read an article from this past year, click immediately before any asterisk, and the link will reveal itself.  Soon enough, we’ll figure out how to change the color of linked words in text, but until that happens, we will jerry-rig our pieces to allow such movement.  Enjoy!)

We started the year, and the life of our website, off with a bang, our Back and Forth discussion * of what the then-new President Barack Obama meant to us. Later in the year, we covered the President’s Nobel Peace Prize victory*, the national conversation regarding what to do with the Guantanamo detainees*, the G.O.P.’s general ease with deception*, the President’s decision to execute Somali Pirates* and what the situation itself reflects about America’s role in the world, and the general nature of fear *in our culture and how it is teased out and cultivated on all sides of politics and culture in general. Politics is usually tricky business, and almost always a drag, so while we didn’t pursue such topics an inordinate amount, we hit what we could, and when we could.

One figures 2009 will be remembered as the Year of Death, and death proved a potent topic on this website, starting Memorial Day weekend when former Wilco member Jay Bennett was found dead*. Later, Michael Jackson’s death* knocked the culture on its ass for a minute, but a few weeks after that the combined effect * of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, MJ, and Billy Blanks (not to mention the later deaths of Walter Cronkite and Patrick Swayze, among many, many others) gave everyone a bit of grief fatigue.

Sports are an important diversion for the culture and for the minds behind this site as well. The first original fiction piece appearing in our Alternate Universe section was a script detailing the New England Patriots tossing Tom Brady overboard* to atone for the beatings they dished out back in 2007. We tackled Michael Phelps* getting caught smoking a bong, as well as the joy involved in winning $100 twenty minutes into the Super Bowl*. We asked you to consider Grant Hill*, as well as understand that very little of what the Final Four is about* has anything to do with the action on the floor. When the grotesque Erin Andrews* video broke in July, we were on it. We later dissected the terrible marriage between Ken Griffey Jr. and the Cincinnati Reds*, and imagined how the conversation might go between Yankees’ manager Joe Girardi and MLB Commish Bud Selig* when the Yankees were struggling early in the playoffs. We also listened to the World Series clincher on the radio* and reported on the cumulative effect.

Movies, music, television: these things are important, too. We wondered what happened to seeing people drink on television*, and whether or not Tool Academy* signaled the end of an era in the greater culture (turns out it didn’t). We celebrated the joy of a blessedly hipster-free rock show*. We wondered why Jennifer Aniston* finds it so hard to nail down a mate, and lamented what happened to Kings of Leon*, once one of our favorite bands. We declared 1999 the last great year in American movies*, and speculated on whether or not Simba and Nala ever consummated their relationship*. Quentin Tarantino’s latest disappointed us*, as did catching a glimpse of Meg Ryan* in a recent movie we knew nothing about. We decided it wasn’t cool to hate on Lynyrd Skynyrd* for being so lame this late in their career, praised the coming release of what ended up being our favorite movie of the year* and felt less than enthused about what will supposedly become the biggest movie of the year*.

Larger societal trends are something we like to keep an eye on. One of our first, and best, pieces in this vein this year concerned the accelerated pace of innovation* in our young lifetimes. We held a selection of popular magazines* up to scrutiny in light of how they were dealing with such intense change. We discussed the governor of Texas’ declaration that he would consider seceding from the union* and its greater implications to our nation. Facebook exploded in a big way, and we shared 25 random things about the site’s 25 Random Things* feature, and we explored a thought exercise concerning whether or not global warming might not offer some solutions related to population control*.

We found certain individual moments quite striking this year. The chimp attack in February* left us wondering why anyone would risk owning what will always be a wild animal. The tenth anniversary of Columbine* reminded us of that day back in 1999 when something unimaginable played itself out over the course of a school day. As Spring became Summer, the first time ladies began to wear their summer clothes* got us more than a little excited. And a visit from Miley Cyrus* offered us a peak into the eye of the teeny-bopper hurricane.

Several other times this year, we simply felt like writing something interesting and having fun with topics that presented themselves to us over the course of daily life. St. Patrick’s Day*, for instance, knocked us on our asses in a way we had not previously experienced. A visit to Johnny Cash and June Carter’s graves* was remembered. The first edition of our now semi-regular Make the Road by Walking* column from Todd Lazarski premiered in April. We contemplated the douchebag*, and elucidated the differences between a son of a bitch and an asshole*. Around Easter time, we thought it best that Jesus never had any children* (that we know about). A McDonald’s Big Mac*, which once provided so much comfort, failed to provide same last year, and the pros and cons of extended vacation were pondered. We heard the best story we’d heard in a long time last year, and our editor-in-chief and head writer moved from Nashville* all the way to Chicago* over the course of three months.

It was an interesting year, to say the least. And if we have any say in the matter, we’ll be right here for all of 2010, breaking it down the only way we know how, with equal parts humor and aggression combined with that particular brand of insight that we know you come here for.

From everyone who has ever had anything to do with this website, to any of you out there reading it, have a safe remainder of the holiday season, everybody. We’ll see you in 2010.

(But again, check back once a week for the NFL columns.  Otherwise, go forth and enjoy yourselves these next few weeks.)