If you woke up every morning knowing that you were the best player on the worst team in the NFL, how would that make you feel? Would you be honored to carry such an important load for such a shitty team, or would you scowl and talk shit and do everything in your power to [...]

Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t smoke pot.
Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t listen to Bob Dylan.
Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like dogs.
Men do the things they need to do to become the men they want to become.
The above are but four of the useful nuggets of wisdom offered by the 2008 movie The Wackness. [...]

Welcome to the first annual Satire on the Rocks NBA Season Preview!
I thought long and hard about how to do this, as I’ve seen plenty of NBA previews the last few weeks and each followed a similar format. Of course, there exist a finite number of ways to present hypothetical information that, at the end [...]